Swap the small talk for big chats, minus the ick factor.
Cocktails aren’t necessarily the first drink you’d associate with meaningful conversations. They’re what we sip over small talk at a party or social ‘do – or at least, they used to be. These days, it’s a lot easier to get the kit to make a killer cocktail at home and invite a group of friends over for a casual home bartending session. Whether you’re a Gin Martini fan or a believer in the perfect Negroni, chances are the idea of making your favourite cocktail at home has occurred to you.
If you’re looking to up your drinks game, why not up your connections with the people around you, too? Pairing cocktails and profound conversations is a pretty fun way to cultivate better friendships, quality memories and personal growth – we recommend trying it. And while you can’t force a meaningful conversation, you certainly can encourage it with the right environment, flow of information and expertly mixed drink.
Self-Care Originals founder Rachael Akhidenor is on a mission to guide people out of chit-chat into deeper and more revealing chats. She’s the woman behind Big Talk: a set of conversation starter cards for people who are sick of small talk. These cards are designed to prompt meaningful conversation, e.g. absolutely zero questions about your favourite colour or your plans for Christmas. Created in collaboration with Melbourne-based psychology practice The Mind Room, Big Talk is a game of vulnerability, validation, intimacy and identity.
If that sounds too serious to you, keep reading. The cards in Big Talk escalate in intensity, which means you don’t have to start off by baring your soul. They’re also relatable and non-cringey. Start with a soft-ball like ‘Do you think technology is making the world better or worse?’, dig a little deeper with something like ‘Who do you secretly stalk online?’, then, once you’re ready to get real with each other, share openly with questions like ‘What’s something you would change about your childhood?’.
The Self Care brand concept hinges on the idea that self-care can involve unwinding with a group of friends while discovering new things about each other in a fun way, rather than sitting alone in a bubble bath or a reiki healing waiting room.
“We can learn so much about ourselves through being with other people,” says Rachael. “This is a form of self care for people who don’t relate to the current aesthetic of self care. We’ve been sold a version of self care that’s whitewashed, classist and exclusive. As a city-living, twenty-something woman of mixed race, that’s never sat right with me.”
Rachael recommends setting the scene for some meaningful chats over cocktails with dim lights, great music, a small group of friends and a couple of cocktails you can make easily. “Grab four to five friends or your significant other and see where our conversation starters take you. You might be surprised,” Rachael says. Her go-to drink? A dry Gin Martini with an orange twist.
The beauty of Big Talk is that you can work through the cards alone if you care for an introspective night of self care (homemade cocktail optional). Self Care Originals also makes a card deck called Only Human, a series of 32 prompt cards intended for solo use that will help you think more deeply about your life. Consider them an antidote to the toxic positivity and self-love rhetoric that thrives online, and try their 30-day self care journal while you’re at it. We promise, it won’t make you cringe or feel irritated.
